Is respect earned or given? Many believe one has to earn respect. To earn it, one has to be respectful themselves. One has to be sensitive towards others’ feelings. One has to be blameless, nice, kind and helpful. Before one can be respected, one must have all the positive character traits one can ever possess. 

I must be turning into a curmudgeonly old-fashioned guy, but people do not seem to be as respectful as they used to be. It is such a twisted belief that respect has to be earned. Showing proper respect to everyone is alright. It does not stipulate any conditions. We can only exercise respect if and only they respect you in the way you deserve to be respected. I also believe in saying to respect everyone because everyone is created equal.

I used to believe respect must be earned. I later realized that it was a perverted concept of what constitutes respect. The fallacy in this philosophy is that true respect is earned, not bestowed. So, if we believe that respect is earned, then it is okay to be disrespectful to everyone we do not know personally since we have no interaction with strangers, who never have the chance to earn our respect.  

On the bus, we can be disrespectful to older people who are standing in front of us while we sit comfortably in our seats. We do not have to offer our seats to them. You say that is not respect. It is more about manners. Well, manners and politeness are really just showing respect for other people, even those you do not know and who have never earned your respect. Often, we claim how can I respect my spouse? He/she does not respect me. As a result, our children witness how we disrespect their father/mother. They become imitators of us. They, too, disrespect their parent. Remember, our children best learn respect by observing how their parents show respect to each other.  

Respect others even if you do not think they deserve your respect or they have not earned your respect. Everyone, including ourselves, is not perfect. Everyone has faults and weaknesses. Yet something tells us that we need to maintain an attitude of respect for everybody. Be careful not to let others’ failures erode your respect for their good qualities. Do not dwell on their imperfection. Look for things that you can respect. You can find something to respect in anybody if you look hard enough.