“Thank you, Omicron!” 

TORONTO – There was much to give thanks for in the U.S. Thanksgiving.  A return to the Macy’s Parade with non-cardboard cutout children standing in the streets of New York, in wonderment of the “Boss Baby” balloon.  A return to Black Friday doorcrashers (90+ vigilantes recreating “Fast and the Furious” in Walnut Creek).  And setting a place for an unwanted visitor at the Thanksgiving family table – “Omicron”. 

Omicron messed up international travel.  Just when you thought you could set your sights on balmy Hawaii and beyond, this critter (whose name we cannot even pronounce properly) is the reason why voyagers all the more have to resign themselves to further poking of Q-tips up their noses.  Think pre-mummification embalming processes, circa 2,400 BC. 

Upon touchdown at Pearson airport, you will be subject to COVID-19 testing at Terminal 1 and Terminal 3, with pre-registration courtesy of Switch Health.  The silver lining is that you are not charged a fee for arrivals testing. Welcome to Canada.  But the catch here is that “Fully vaccinated travellers will be required to quarantine while they await the results of their arrival test”, says the Government of Canada.  A word of caution:  this does not specify whether the travellers will be scooped up and herded into a government-approved quarantine hotel in a faraway suburb.  Nor does it specify the length of time it will take to receive the result of the PCR test.  That Executive board meeting you were chasing first thing on Monday morning – you can kiss that goodbye.  You are now jailed in your hotel room, watching Netflix and annihilating food.

But let’s say before going home to the States or Europe, you take a detour to Montreal.  Your best bet would be to go to Atwater and obtain a “Same Day COVID Test Travel Certificate”, that is if you do not want to end up in limbo, awaiting your PCR result for more than 48 hours and thereby missing your flight home.  To avoid being stranded in Montreal, you need to shell out $99 for this “complete laboratory RT-PCR testing (the best type of PCR or molecular test)”.  Lilium Diagnostics is but one example.  So on your final day in Montreal, as opposed to strolling the romantic streets of the Old Port, scaling the 99 steps of Saint Joseph’s Oratory of Mount Royal, wolfing down a poutine and shopping at Rue Ste. Catherine – you have to spend your last day in Montreal on this wild goose chase hunting down a clinic to get your PCR test.

Imagine all this, but now you are in Africa, India, Asia, South America.  An RT-PCR test costs 2,599 pesos in the Philippines, by the way.  That figure can climb to 3,000 to 5,000 pesos.  In 2019, gross monthly minimum wage for a Filipino was $10.

As an inhabitant of the First World, you will begrudgingly pay the 100 bucks for the PCR test, board that plane and live your life.  Omicron will not get in your way.  Meanwhile, those in the Third World cannot even afford to show up for work.  That 2,599 pesos that could have gone to a PCR test goes towards plain rice – the only food on the dinner table. 

Image by Rudy and Peter Skitterians from Pixabay