There is a saying if your brother or sister makes a mistake go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. How often have we forgotten when that happen, Instead of going to the supposed offender, we run a survey among people who have no business being involved. We garner people to believe and side with us. We even try at all costs to convince people to believe our story. We use our power of persuasion to make people believe our side.
Not long ago, a suspicion became the topic of gossip. Yes, gossip. A lady friend spread a story to many people. She rationalized this by saying that she just wanted to express her suspicion. She said she wanted to either be corrected or confirm the story. The sad part was it was expressed to many people, not to the suspected one.
Suspicion as defined by the Webster dictionary is “the act or an instance of suspecting something wrong without proof or on slight evidence. It is something that is supported by shallow, circumstantial evidence.
> Expressing one’s suspicion to a large audience is nothing more than a toxic way of poisoning people’s minds against the person being suspected. Are we promoting peace when we tell everyone except the person being suspected?
> A couple of nights ago, a friend bad-mouthed someone to me. At first, I just listened. But I soon realized that by listening and entertaining her bad-mouthing a mutual friend, I was as guilty of spreading a malicious and destructive story as she was.
> Gossip is a two-way street; the person spreading the gossip and the person giving it a place to stay, the hearer’s mind.
> I remember one occasion when a young girl told her grandma, “Grandma, the person you are bad-mouthing is not here to defend herself. You are gossiping.” On another occasion, in a class reunion, the topic of conversation was a classmate who was not present. One classmate boldly and firmly rebuked the rest by saying, “She is not here to defend herself, so please let us not talk about her.”
> Taking a page from those two examples, I was able to say to my friend who was bad-mouthing the other, “Please stop. I cannot and don’t want to entertain such bad-mouthing. It is unfair to our friend as he is not here to defend himself.” That put an end to the gossip.
> Everybody should follow a rule on secondhand stories (gossip). Does the storyteller intend to restore harmony, peace? Or are they simply reviling a brother or a sister? Let us search our hearts for what our real motives are. What is more important to us, that we be right in our suspicion or that we maintain peace and harmony amongst ourselves?
